By Cornelia Waldrum
After 11 years as a lesbian couple, Loree Cooke-Daniels’s former partner decided to transition from female to male. It was the early 90s and almost no one in the lesbian community talked about transgender issues. The couple was kicked out of the lesbian support groups they had previously been dedicated members of and Daniels’s claimed identity as a lesbian was questioned and often dismissed.
“For me it was the sense of flying off the cliff,” she laughed. “Like I had no idea where I was going to land. What I did end up taking with me is my activism. And that was the stream of continuity. I moved from being a lesbian activist to being an activist in the trans community.”
Daniels is now the policy and program director for FORGE, the nation’s oldest transgender anti-violence organization as well as the founder of Transgender Aging Network and ElderTG. She uses her knowledge of the issues transgender people face to educate others on how to be allies to the transgender community.
What puts aging transgender people at a higher risk of suicide?
It wasn’t until the 1970s that being transgender was no longer considered a mental illness. Until 2013 being transgender was still labeled as “gender identity disorder” by the American Psychiatric Association. The discriminatory nature of the language used to describe transgender people is a reflection of the decades of inequity and stigma older transgender people have faced.
Though there has been a surge of awareness and support of the LGBTQ+ community in recent years, an array of unique challenges face the aging transgender community. While very limited, existing research on transgender people reveals that many are aging in isolation with barriers to knowledgeable health care providers and proper support from their community.
Older transgender adults have lower levels of social support than non-transgender adults and many are survivors of sexual, physical and/or domestic abuse. They often face discrimination in health care access, employment, housing and more.
A policy brief published by the Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders (SAGE) writes that, “many transgender elders routinely encounter both a health care system and a national aging network that are ill-prepared to provide culturally competent care and services and create residential environments that affirm the gender identities and expressions of transgender older people.”
According to Irene Tsikitas, Director of Care Management Services at SAGE, when there is mistreatment in the medical field such as misgendering or incorrect use of pronouns, there is less of a chance an individual will go to a medical provider for treatment and support. This can result in depressive symptoms and mental health not being properly treated.
Such high rates of mistreatment and isolation has a significant impact on the physical and mental well-being of transgender people and is compounded with the inherent challenges of aging. According the the Aging and Health Report, more than half of older transgender respondants had experienced suicidal ideation at some point in their life, and more than one in four of them had attempted suicide.
The age 50 and older population as a whole is expected to increase in the next few decades, and as a result the number of self-identified LGBTQ+ older adults is estimated to double by 2030. This calls for increased social support of transgender people to ensure their well being now and as they age.
September is National Suicide Prevention Month and it is important to empower and inform ourselves of how we can be allies and support the well-being of transgender family, friends and community members in our own lives.
For friends and family members …
Educating yourself and being supportive are the first steps in caring for your transgender loved one. Something as simple as using their chosen name and pronouns makes them feel affirmed, seen and accepted. If you don’t know what pronouns they prefer, share your own and politely ask what pronouns they prefer to use.
Be careful about the questions you ask, some topics are not appropriate to ask about and a transgender person may not feel comfortable sharing intimate details about themselves. For example, asking about surgeries, what hormones they may be taking, or their sexual relationships, may not be appropriate.
It is also important to remember that someone’s transgender identity is personal information for them alone to share or not share. Just because they have told you about their identity doesn’t mean they are ready to share that information with everyone in their life.
If you are having conversations with someone who you believe might be suicidal there can be a tendency to want to connect them with the police or a hospital. According to Cooke-Daniels, from experience, if the at-risk individual is transgender, going straight to the police or even a hospital is not always the best course of action, however, each case is different.
“Particularly for trans people, hospitals and police are not necessarily good choices,” she says. “There’s a lot of transphobia out there. In Milwaukee we’ve had four trans people commit suicide while in a psychiatric facility.”
Instead, she emphasizes the importance of simply listening rather than trying to problem solve. “Let the person emote and work out their feelings, but not try to solve it because their brain is not online when they’re that upset,” she says.
Support groups including Suicide Prevention Lifeline and Trans Lifeline are excellent resources if you are concerned about a trans loved one.
For community members…
In order to increase social support and help reduce isolation of transgender people in the community, actively engage in outreach that promotes an affirming attitude towards transgender people of all ages.
Faith communities should make efforts to increase awareness and inclusion of transgender people. This has the potential to start conversations about gender identity and faith within a congregation, encouraging open mindedness and acceptance. Resources such as transACTION, which is a transgender curriculum, can be utilized by churches and religious institutes to guide education and conversation.
Senior volunteer programs and events can also increase awareness of being inclusive of transgender adults so that people feel welcomed in those spaces and find connection in their community.
As people age and start to look at alternative housing options, it’s important that the facilities where they choose to live are affirming and supportive. The SAGE advocacy group offers cultural competency training for long term care facilities to learn how to best care for LGBTQ+ elders.
For change to truly take root, it is also vital to support legislation that ensures equality for transgender people in the United States. Currently there are no explicit federal anti-discrimination protections for LGBTQ+ people according to Tsikitas.
“Without those federal level protections, older LGBTQ+ people in 29 states can legally be denied access to comprehensive care because of how they identify,” Tsikitas said. Without those federal protections, it’s very important to establish and support non-discriminatory policy in your state and to support the Equality Act at the federal level.
More resources can be found below:
How to be an Ally to Transgender Older Adults
Improving the Lives of Older Transgender Adults — Includes Policy Suggestions