By Jeremiah Ancheta
The Cloud Dancers Foundation recently sat down with Maeve DuVally, a transgender woman who is also the Managing Director of Corporate Communications at Goldman Sachs. Maeve shared her personal story about transitioning later in life while working at a prestigious financial firm. In our conversation, she gives advice on how to improve the Trans in the Workplace experience.
Realizing Her True Self
Maeve DuVally is the first to admit that her experience as a trans woman is not like most trans people’s experience. “Once I realized I was transgender and got to talk to other transgender people, I learned that all of our experiences are very different,” Maeve said. “There are a lot of people who have always known that something was off about their gender or felt a certain way about it. That wasn’t my experience.”
Although she didn’t quite realize back then, in retrospect Maeve said there were signs. For example, she said she didn’t like herself for most of her life, and thinks the disdain for “anything masculine” about herself might have been an early sign she was transgender. “There were periods of time where I liked experimenting with makeup and feminine clothing. When I was young, I would dress as a woman during most Halloweens. I never thought too much about it, but I do now. In retrospect, these signs make a lot more sense to me,” Maeve said.
Already well into her career with three children, Maeve described a pivotal moment during a fundraising dinner she attended in October of 2018. “The morning of that event, something popped into my head that said ‘Go get some makeup, you need to wear makeup to this event,’ and so I did,” she said.
Although she initially questioned herself and pushed back against the idea that she “always wanted to wear makeup, wear girl’s clothing, and look like a girl,” she eventually came to terms with the fact that inside, she had always been a woman.
We asked Maeve if this realization made her feel afraid. She said, “I wasn’t afraid because I wasn’t really doing anything yet. It was just self-realization. But once I realized it, I asked myself, ‘Now what do I do?’ Then I started to get anxiety.”
Navigating Life as Maeve
For many trans people, the idea of coming out and living your authentic life is a difficult process. Maeve credits her ability to hear her voice and come out to two things: community and sobriety.
Finding support during all stages of a transition is crucial, and Maeve said she was lucky to find support in her personal and professional life. Maeve met with a trans acquaintance of hers and asked advice on how to proceed. The first thing she did, which she also advises other trans people to do, was find a good therapist.
Maeve also shared about her relationship between sobriety and being trans. She said, “I believe that I suppressed this voice through my use of alcohol. Once I got sober four years ago, that paved the way for me to have that realization. For me, my sobriety and my transness are very intertwined.”
Navigating life with the newfound realization that she is a trans woman led Maeve to try new things. “I started experimenting with clothing and makeup. The things that caused me the most anxiety were things that I was doing for the first time,” Maeve revealed. “The first time I walked into a makeup store; the first time I walked into a lingerie store; the first time I walked into a clothing store; the first time I wore a dress. There’s that anxiety that you’re going to be judged harshly by others.”
While out in her private life, Maeve had not come out to her colleagues at work. In January of 2019, Maeve told her employer that she was transgender and out in her private life. Goldman Sachs assigned a member of its Diversity and Inclusion team to be Maeve’s relationship manager, something Maeve credits with her positive workplace coming out experience. “Before I made the decision to come out in April 2019, I talked to [my relationship manager] periodically. Any concern that I had, she would try to address it. She helped me with every aspect of my transition at work,” Maeve said.
With support from her employer, Maeve agreed to allow the New York Times to profile her first few days being out at work. “The thing I didn’t anticipate was the power of that story,” Maeve said. “As a result of that story, many transgender people in various stages of coming out reached out to me. I discovered that my experience and thoughts could be useful to them, and this process has just continued.”
Improving the Trans in the Workplace Experience
Although Maeve describes her experience as a trans person in the workplace as overall positive, she also gave advice on how it could be improved.
By having a dedicated relationship manager, Maeve felt safe during all stages of her coming out process. She advises companies to have a similar process so that other transgender people might also have a positive and safe experience.
Another factor that Maeve credits to her positive experience was having an active LGBTQ+ network in the workplace, which she says has only grown. “We have a growing group of out trans people. We’ve also joined forces with the parents who work at Goldman Sachs and have trans kids. We consider them part of our group. Our insurance coverage of transition-related procedures is good but can always be improved. Each person’s priorities are different. What’s important to me at my age and what’s important for a ten year old who’s on Goldman Sachs’ insurance is very different. So we have a great little group.”
When asked about what workplace representation means to her, Maeve said “It’s quite simple. We want to feel comfortable being visible and we want to be completely accepted. I want to be accepted.” At Goldman Sachs, employees can place “ally badges” on their desk to let others know they support the LGBTQ+ community. Other companies can adopt this practice to foster workplace representation.
Finally, Maeve stresses the importance of education. During various times of the year that promote LGBTQ+ issues, such as Pride Month, Trans Visibility Day, and Trans Awareness Week, a wide audience of people, including cis gender people, are eager to learn about the transgender experience and how to support their trans friends and colleagues. Making support for the trans community, particularly at work, can and should be a year-round effort.
We’re All in Transition
One of the last things that Maeve told us was that everybody is in transition, and that the process never really ends.
“Everyone is trying to find out who they are,” Maeve explained. “The knowledge of who they are is going to evolve through their whole life. Everybody is in transition. People just tend to make a big deal out of transgender people because our appearance changes. I believe that a transition, just like anything else special in life, never really has an end. I’m going to be transitioning until the day I die. And that’s fine.”